Flirting, a basic social skill

Flirting, an action many of us would like to be doing but are afraid of what it will says about us. Flirting is not a bad thing,in fact it is a basic social skill. It’s about being friendly and warmth, showing an interest in people and it is definitely good for the confidence. Flirting is easy; many of us flirt now and then, usually without realising it.

Our attitude towards flirting are influenced by our past experience and our expectations. We learned from our past experience especially if we have been hurt before. As most people would make a conscious effort to do things differently. we may not usually get the immediate response we want.Our failed expectations makes us feel angry and hurt; eventually we withdraw into our shell. Your body language will show your hurt and make others stay away.This is the classic mistake in flirting.

You do not have to make that mistake again. Flirting is not logical; you don’t have to be a ravishing beauty, rich and smooth. It is a mind game, the first thing you need to do is:

Acknowledge that you want to be a good flirt
Be ready to practice being a good flirt
Enjoy being a good flirt
So let’s start now!

Basic flirting rules

- Be intelligent. Flirting is not about being critical, argumentative or behaving like a helpless person.
- Be interested in the other person. Talking about you all the time is definitely a flirting suicide.
- You do not need alcohol influence to make you sparkle, in fact it might make you loose control of yourself and become a flirting disaster.
- Dress appropriately for the occasion, not outlandish or expensive. Be presentable and comfortable, you want people to know you and not your clothes.
- Empty any emotional baggage before you commence you flirting routine. When you carry your troubles around with you, it shows in your words and your body language.
- Be in the right mood for flirting or whatever effort you made will go to waste.
- Be alert and patient. Assess your flirting partner’s mood or response; sometimes it takes a while for a person to response favourably due to their current state of mind.
-Be physically and emotionally prepared. You do not know who you will meet and you do not want to be caught in an awkward situation.

Flirting Tips

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  Greet the people you meet with great energy and zest. Feel happy and mean it when you say hello. It will resonate in your voice and make the other person look forward to talking to you.
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  Touch is important; the first handshake should be memorable. Stay away from limp handshake or a crushing tough handshake. Feel your handshake; a firm handshake leaves a positive sensation to the receiver.
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  Make eye contact but do not stare. Eye contact as you speak is an exciting moment, it establish a new relationship, intrusive or caring.
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  Remember the person’s name. Repeat the person’s name in the conversation several times, as a way of remembering and making the person feel important.
  Give flattery and mean what you say. It must be genuine, something from your observation or what you have heard about the person.
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  Be interested in the person by asking questions about themselves, not overly personal or intrusive questions. Asked questions like what you would want to be asked, for example the person’s goals and beliefs. It is also important to give appropriate response during the conversation so that it is not all one sided.
  If you notice someone looking at you from across the room, look back with a smile. You could guess what could happen next.
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  Be intellectually stimulated, keep up to date about the things around us but do not be a show off.
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  When you give someone undivided attention, you flatter the person. A good flirt will be one who will move away from the conversation when it’s going well, it definitely make the person want more.You will definitely see the person again.
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  Learn to move away at the right time, prolong the mystery about you and make the person want to speak to you again. Renew flirting again after a while if you want to.

You know you are doing it correctly when :

You are comfortable in your environment.
You project confidence, ease and stability.
You have a clean and neat appearance.
You are kind and don’t behave like a prince or princess.
You are discreet, never offend.
You are successful but not competitive.
You are honest and reliable.
You have great interest in people and things.
You know little gestures that would bring a smile to the person's face.
You know when to stop flirting.